Continued LFESP Investment

Boston, Massachusetts  — Here in the land of the bean and the cod, where the Cabots speak only to Lodges and the Lodges speak only to God, the thrust of the Lucas Family Economic Stimulus Program (LFESP) has been broadened.

Previous stimulus investments in New York City and New Jersey were multi-pronged, including direct cash infusions for transit, railroads, airlines, restaurants and the arts.

However, some sectors of the economy were overlooked.

And so, through the transparent oversight so critical to strategic spending, as the second leg of the Katherine Irene Lucas East Coast College World Tour (KILECCWT) 2009 began, the LFESP was recalibrated and re-launched.

An important omission corrected was the rental car industry.

Although one of the pieces of legislation in the “economic stimulus package” accompanying California’s most recent budget allows rental car companies to pass onto renters the state’s boost in vehicle license fees, it was unclear whether rental car companies in Massachusetts benefited from the same boon.

Therefore, rather than use the T, Boston’s well-ordered transit system, to sally forth from the Back Bay to Boston College, a rental car was engaged which offered excellent transport to the campus with time to spare for an 11 o’clock tour.

Note to City Fathers: If the Big Dig is now dug, there are still myriad job creation opportunities in leveling the crater-esque pot holes along Commonwealth Ave. as it rises to Chestnut Hill.

Additionally, refilling the tank of the rental car offered some much needed help to the oil industry, which must be reeling now that gasoline prices have fallen from $4.30 to a paltry $2.00 per gallon.

Some qualms were expressed about the negative consequences the vehicle’s emissions had on global warming.

A USA Today report that day noted, however, that one of the few plus sides of the worldwide economic slowdown was a reduction in greenhouse gas emissions because fewer businesses were busy and, ergo, using less coal or petroleum-fired energy.

The consensus was that the environmental impact of an 86-mile round-trip to Providence – even with the 20 minutes searching for a parking spot, the 10-minutes of idling in front of the bookstore while the obligatory help-the-garment-industry sweat-shirt was purchased and the unscheduled 45-minute driving tour of Boston at the conclusion of the trip in search of the hotel – far outweighed the economic boon of the rental.

Support of struggling taxi drivers was continued and, in an unexpected payback, much was learned about the inequities and economic potential of Ghana.

There was a strong desire to provide mental health counseling to fans flocking to Fenway Park for a night game played in temperatures that would cause an icicle to shiver but the extent of the insanity was too vast.

Only so much can be done. 

As often happens, without direct contact important problems can be overlooked. This may explain why public officials travel on so many fact-finding missions and conduct important oversight hearings in various locales – to get a glimpse of what’s really going on out there.

Had a taxi driver not waved off proffered LFESP aid, the plight of the town car industry would never have come to light.

Plummeting stock values, federal bailout funds and public outrage over corporate largesse have caused executives to be skittish about being seen cruising in sleek black town cars, particularly those with tinted windows.

So severe is the crisis, according to information obtained by the LFESP, that one struggling New York City town car operator, in an effort to improve business, caused his vehicles to be painted yellow so as to appear more taxi-like and, thus, more egalitarian.

Further retarding profits in the town car industry is a policy of calculating fares at the same rate as taxis. So one town car driver insisted.  The town car industry’s math must be different from that of the taxi world since the cab ride to the same North Side location was $11.40 and the town car driver charged $20.  He was tipped $5 for his invaluable information.

Support of the seafood industry was, as it should be, stepped up in Boston, just up the coast from America’s oldest fishing port in Gloucester.

Rather than six oysters at Legal Seafood, 12 were ordered. Fish and chips. Clam Chowder. Calamari. It’s hard to calculate the many economic sectors touched.

Some guilt was expressed over the two lobster special at Rabia’s on the North Side costing only $25. The hope was that market price would have been at least $40, just to offer greater help to the struggling fishing industry.

In the interest of transparency, no Boston University sweatshirt was purchased. Retail spending in Washington D.C. will be increased accordingly.

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