An Elderly Nun’s Suggestion for Gov. Brown’s Next Phase of Realignment

Dear Gov. Brown:

Seniors should be put in jail and criminals confined to nursing homes.

This simple policy change would accomplish the following:

For Seniors:

They would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheelchairs and the like.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video surveillance so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight and fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool, education and free in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing — shoes, slippers, pj’s — and legal aid would be free, upon request.

There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.

Each senior would have a PC, TV, phone and radio in their room at no cost.

They would receive daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.

The guards would be subject to a strictly enforced code of conduct with attorneys available, at no charge, to protect seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.

For the criminals:

They would receive cold food.

They would be left alone and unsupervised.

They would receive showers once a week.

They would live in tiny rooms for which they would pay $5,000 per month.

And they would have no hope of ever getting out.

Thank you for your consideration of this important proposal.

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