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–Billy Wilder
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–Groucho Marx
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Few could match the barbs of Lady Astor of Parliament and Winston Churchill. Of course, she was born an American. Here are some examples:
They may not be accurate but they are extremely cvlever. Examples include an instance in which Churchill is supposed to have told Lady Astor that having a woman in Parliament was like having one intrude on him in the bathroom, to which she supposedly retorted, “You’re not handsome enough to have such fears”.
Lady Astor was also said to have responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade ball by saying, “Why don’t you come sober, Prime Minister?”
Possibly the most famous of all such anecdotes reports that Lady Astor said to Churchill, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea,” to which he responded, “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it!”
One of the more famous exchanges that Lady Astor is purported to have had with Churchill is as follows: “Winston, you are drunk.” To which Churchill responded, “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” In fact, Churchill was talking to Bessie Braddock, a Labour Member of Parliament.
And then there is Winston to his dinner companion: “Would you go to bed with me for a million pounds?” She: “Of course.” He: “How about ten pounds? She: “What do you think I am?” He: “We know what you are. We are now negotiating.”